we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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