This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Randomize
