I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
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