I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
