You work out of a Hotel?
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
In other news, I just burned my penis
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
