if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
