Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
