Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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