Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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