They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
