allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
