The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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