I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
