we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
