i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
