She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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