Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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