Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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