ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm experimenting with sincerity
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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