She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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