your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
