She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize