so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
