That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
