i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
