She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
