Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
