I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
