My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
