I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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