I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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