i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
