Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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