lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
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