Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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