Don't make out with my wife yet
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
