I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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