There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
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