Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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