Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize