He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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