There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
sex in a hospital.. check
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
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