i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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