I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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