She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
