I wanna passion pit in your ass
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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