everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
