A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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