I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I fill condoms, not promises.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Randomize