He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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