I didn't shave. On purpose
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
