So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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