This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Randomize
