Need sex. Gaining weight.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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