so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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