once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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