actually, I'm a sock model
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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