You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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