Having a random hookup so left but love u
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
