This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
There are leaves in my underwear?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
