I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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